It's my birthday, I demand immediate attention of utmost love.

Hi. I like your hair today.

So this page has always been running, but it hasn‘t been driven for a while, And the reason for that is mainly to do with my tyres being deflated. By which car metaphor I mean that art always gets posted here, but without sufficient pace or focus, and the reason for that is my lack of motivation. Nice body work, though. Big exhaust.

It’s my first day back at Uni. As I understand it, the next two years are the important ones. Now is when shit gets hot. And I’ve decided the only way I can make this time (and expense) worth it, is if I get the highest grade possible. A first.

A First requires a lot of fucking graft and ability. So it will start to get a little busy around here. I study Illustration and Animation, so your inboxes should cram with sketches and cartoons. The work could be anything; from dull bowls of fruit to beat boxing birds.

I have always to animate a beat boxing bird.

I woke up at 6am. I ate a big breakfast, drank a fat mug of coffee, dressed in the most pretentious clothes I own and packed my bag with a delightful array of art shizz. Ready to walk into University and make that place my little bitch. All I have to do is keep up that morning routine for the next 2 years. Right then. Off we go.

Vroom Vroom!… that that last bit was lame, sorry.

A while ago (two and a half years ago, in fact) I published a journal entry telling the story of my biological father, who showed up at my hosue after being gone fo 20 years. He looked at me, I looked at him, and then he left.

You can, were you so interested in my little life, read that journal here; [link] But basically the first sentence at the top of this journal covers the whole story.

Here's a little update on that situation: I'm meeting him tomorrow for coffee.

I should probably be nervous, but I'm not. He's just... some guy. I feel like I should make some kind of connection though, because I am a fool that wants the whole world to be nice to each other. I'll have to watch that shit though, because he left my Mum and a crying baby Lee. And baby Lee was so cute, crying or not. So he doesn't really deserve to have me be nice to him. But I just can't get angry about him because I don't even remember being left alone, and my Mum, whilst clearly angry and full of horrible opinions, decided not to share that anger and horrible opinions with me. Which I think is incredibly noble. So, yeah, he's just some guy.

I don't know what I'll talk to him about. Oh, he has three kids. I might ask about my new (half) brothers and sisters

[link]

I love this show! Watching whacky people show up with their whacky ideas and being told to fuck off. I even enjoy watching smart people show up with their smart ideas and being given the money. But most of all? I like watching the whacky people being given the money.

It’s also changed my mind slightly on business people and capitalism. I used to think “Grr, all you care about is money! Destroying our forests and polluting our air and pooping on our rose bushes!” Now I’m like “Oh Peter Jones, you’re quite baby faced. Goochie Goo! Who’s my little capitalist?” Someone that adorable can poop on anything he likes. And let’s face it, he’s probably wearing a nappy.

Deborah Meaden seems nice too, though from her sour face I keep thinking to myself “Leisure industry? Are you sure she didn‘t make her fortune with a string of lemon factories?” Personally sucking each one to test if they're juicy enough.

Duncan Ballatyne is without a doubt the sternest of the five. With that tough Scottish accent and hard expression he’s desperate for someone to ask him to invest in a candy factory. As strict as he is, he does at least compliment good people and ideas, even if he doesn’t invest in them. But if you don’t have a good idea, BEWARE. He gives you a very hard stare. It’s like he’s eyes are boots, and he’s crushing you with them.

James Caan has a calm, nice voice… but I noticed (when a documentary told me) that when he’s “out” of a deal, he really emphasis the ‘T’ for all it’s worth. I’ll see him talk softly with a budding entrepreneur throughout the entire conversation, even if the idea is ridiculous, and then he’ll suddenly end with “I’m ouT”. He'll reassure them, and then end it by spitting out those final, dreaded two words like gunfire. A very misleading character. It’s like he’s stroking your skin, and then suddenly holds an AK47 to your face. "The stroking was just to distract you, FOOL, to give me time to reload!"

And finally there’s my favourite, Theo Paphitis. I’m not sure why he’s my favourite, considering that he keeps irritatingly talking about his family, turning everything personal. “Why should I give you my children’s inheritance?” I don’t know, why bring your children’s inheritance to a broken dirty warehouse? “Why would Mrs P like this product?” It might surprise you to know I don’t want to sell Testicle Cream to your wife. That's right, my product is Testicle Cream. The guys at the Patent Office are really taking their time with it.

So yeah, anyone else like this show?

Before I leave this thread to you all I just want to add one more thing. Wouldn’t Dragon’s Den be a great way to come out as gay to your parents? You could put on an expensive, smart suit, sit on a posh leather chair, with an open filofax on your knee, look up to your Mum and Dad and say “I like you. I think you’ve done really well. But… I’ve been looking at this business of Heterosexuality. And I have to say I’m not impressed. I can‘t see it working. So, for those reasons, I’M OUT.”

And on those last two words you stick out both your hands and do the limp wrist.

Oh man, the city lately has been really bright and swealteringly hot. A pain when you're working... but great for gay marches

If anyone is going there today and you spot me, say hey! I'll be the one drinking litres of Evian, trying not to faint, whilst pointing at the mincing queens and fat transvestites saying "This is what we're proud of?!"

Good times